Occult Fan

Master no Self

Month: December, 2016

2017 [Everybody Knows Me Now]

One. Star.


10 = 1+0=1

Choose one or ten.

This year is going to be AMAZING.

2017, The Year of The Star.

2016 Was The Towers, Trump-wise.

It was written in the stars, and cards, and stars.

Trump won, I voted (alas! sighs anarchists) for The Winner.

This year, I’m voting for us all.

This year, we shall find a way not only to extend life, a la Nassim Taleb,

if I innerstand correctly, but to improve the quality exponentially in

‘Humanito-Spirito’ terms.

In a word.


It a few words,

“Every man and every woman is a star.”


[From Prophecy Wines, credit to the artist] –

As I listen to Blackstar by David Bowie this last day of The Tower Year,

I feel as if I have been initiated.

I saw the “I am” – It told me ‘Silence’. (Sedatives, Boo!)

I’m just as human as the rest, very interested in being happy and loved,

respected by other magicians, to be friends with interesting and solutions-based people.

I add other artists, poets, and musicians as well.

I’m a StarStar. I’m a BlackStar. I’m not a PornStar. Sevan has something to say there.

I hope I am able ot move in the currents which bring hope.

Indeed, that is my Intention.

Crowley’s quote above is SHININGLY pertinent.

This is the year. If you’ve read your Levenda, you’ll know exactly why.

The floors are begun to shake – the amniotic fluid that the plebeians call space is PULSING.


This is the year of Creation, of New Revelation, of the Future to Arrive.

The fearful will not like what the find.

When do the fearful ever like anyfuckingthing?

So I must smash all my old wants, my old fears,

replacing them with goals which are attainable and worthy.

Not like ever before. This is Solutions, and I am aided by the Force.

To re-cap, instead of listing off all I’ve read and listened to and herp-di-derp…

I performed the Headless Rite in a Graveyard on Halloween.

I performed St Nicholas Rites on All Saints.

There has been steady LBRP work and prayer and positive focus like never before.

Between the work of Anthony Peake and Peter Levenda, I’ve begun to lay a solid foundation of just what is happening in this spiritual world of ours.

Gordon White’s works are also integral to my momentum forward. Thanks to him.

Christipher Loring Knowles works are also timely and illuminating… Thanks to him.

Gregory Carlwood is an example of a hard-working, tao-current, brave, KIND man.

Daniel Lizst, I might think is off on a woo-woo tear at times, still remains hugely valuable to me. And shit. He might be on to something. We’ll see! I’ll continue to support the above four in 2017.

I’m looking very forward to learning and COMPREHENDING the works of Nassim Taleb.

Thanks to both of them, and future thanks to Taleb.

I am also looking forward to getting my chart done by GianPaolo DiCocco. I have feelings that my future is bright. If I can suffer my insufferable need to be liked by people… I will ascend to a throne more than chariots and hekhalots could fathom in their own unfathomable mechanics and means and ways…. my loves.

My first username was UsefulFool… vis a vis Tool’s Useful Idiot, but I was locked at boarding school, so when my mom made it, should joined the sound of Tool with what she could remember, coz my mom made my first ‘aim name’ for me… you can look forward to (those who have paid access) to hearing about my… violent youth. Just bizarrse stuff, but people are interested in that kind of thing, and frankly, I am actively seeking to improve my communication skills. This story has to be told. Even if I was writing a technical manuel, it would have to come out, so I have heard.

Looks like maybe I really need to crucify my ego.

I intend to take ayhuasca this year, but not only that. I truly wish to be torn apart.

‘Right in two’.

I know that the real shaman is not the mason the oto or the AA or the Rosicrucians* or whatever… or so I have gleaned from P.*. P.*. in his works thus far – he has ‘resisted joining’ – resistance is BEAUTIFUL.

How silicon and transistors arrived presents us a unique glimpse in to one of the spiritual forces in this world… Faaip de Oiad…

So, I am about finished. This message was meant to be more condensed. I think it might be a proper thing to do in the next week to condense this down and release a purer form of this, sans future plans and thanks for the past year… I think for now, this doth suffice.

The future is bright. Look for the limping man in the Blackstar video. That’s some occult shit, brah.

and To those to whom I have extended obvious friendship and been met with a pained silence… you are but a spirit too. Rather than my olde habits of self-destructing, I shall wait. I shall be patient. I’ll either realize you’re totally not worth my time and awesome and I’ll forget about you, lose you to my own memory hole, or you’ll come around and be part of a collaboration that you didn’t even realize could make us so completely whole.

But this time, this Daemonic recognition gets it right. Maybe I can move on after this life.

But to this year, this tzaddi of cheer, I am quite looking forward to how I will make great use of my time. Here’s to a solutions-based 2017! Look not without, but look within.

“Every man and every woman is a star.” – Aleister Crowley








*A mason told me that the masons were not the only way to join the mysteries – he recommended the Golden Dawn and the OTO to me. Then I read the back of Frater X’s book… But who cares? I am a one man secret society.**


** I reserve the right to admit I was fucking wrong about all secret societies and to join any which I deem worthy and which deems my entrance worthy. There is something calling me. I will only tell the truth.

(If I’m late can I thank you now? I’m gonna try anyhow. – Pixies, PAZ)


Following My Will and Whim

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Occult Fan’s fast-friend Frater F.*.

Gonna wait it out

“Never hope more

than you work.” – Rita Mae Brown

I will watch the weather change.

Atari changed the world they said – Fibonacci for Lossless Communication

What is Lateralus? From toolfaq – Maynard answers:

“Lateralus itself is actually a muscle and although the title does have something to do with the muscle, it’s more about lateral thinking and how the only way to really evolve as an artist — or as a human, I think — is to start trying to think outside of the lines and push your boundaries. Kind of take yourself where you haven’t been and put yourself in different shoes; all of those cliches.”

It is almost Latin for “to the side.” To what muscle specifically he is referring is not yet known, though there are apparently two leg muscles whose names include the word.

Source: http://toolshed.down.net/faq/faq.html

… … …

…. …. …. ….

The Holy Gift is upon us

this 2017.

Frater F.*.

Kingdom of Smoke and Mirrors

Vipers swirming in my seat

of my soul they won’t cease eat

my noose coil cobra squirms

working puncture needle head

slip tear wrist truth screws

blue blood berth transmuted red

white is black and black is dead

all is now and forgotten

I feel the gypsy kingdom

rigid with her areola enflamed

aroused at the land’s engine burning

fell to the floor exhausted

from all the smoke and mirrors

I Know The Pisces/Pieces/Pixies Fit

I am Nathan Lee of Boston

I am made of energy, lightningfire

I am the Æuthore of your now

I am the friend of your father and your son

and I am the Friend of You

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Let’s see if this will work.

Since it is my mind

and my life

and my reality therefore my responsibility, as Frater Xavier says

I am wealthy.

I am healthy.

I am respected by respectable men and women.

I am a healer.

I feel whole inside and out.

I perpetually work towards healing this realm, as I learn its lessons and pass onwards.

I am not a human being, but a collection of forces.

That last one isn’t so much a prophecy as a truth.

I am doing better and better, trying my best one might say – but none of you are my parents (except my parents, and I’m almost the age Christ was crucified) so what I’m saying is that this lifelong thus far tendency (no doubt caused my my Moon in Leo and being born during a waning gibbous on the cusp of mutable earth/cardinal aire – or whatever)… tendency to seek approval – I keep forgetting that everyone else is going about, well, the largesse of humes, are going about doing the same fucking thing.

One more cage to break.

I begin to fast and cleanse soon.

I have tried to do something nice with my CCC here, and no matter how it goes, I am proud that I put so much work and effort and good intentions in to this. I hope that those who enjoy what this is or appreciate my sentiment can be inspired and made just a little more whole knowing this is how some of us, even if we are maniacal from time to time, haunted by whatever I allow to feast fang first in to my frame… or force… or form… that this really is about healing and having fun but it’s even more mysterious than that – it’s about becoming nothing – it’s about becoming small.

My greatest challenges are the ones which lie within, not this nebulous intention setting ritual. Yet I FEEL wealthy. I FEEL healthy. I FEEL loved.

And I hope you do too.

Merry Christmas, to all who are as intense as my electricflame and to all who are not – and on and on and on – I love you all.

Now I’m going to have some wine and cry a while.

I’ve been having this strange sadness swirl in my – I began to sob reading an olde children’s book aloud. Lachrymology it is called. I needn’t be defensive, rather, do whatever it is that you need to do – but the mystery is to become what we already were. The paradox is you have to do it in a public way. You know you are no monster… you are a master. Fear not the demons, for they are at your beck and whim – now Master Miller Foster –


Control thyself that you may master thyself.


You are not the reactions of other human beings.

You are a core dynamo effervescent and effulgent forever grande.

Now disappear.


like spring flowers in the winterfrost





We all will


Heaven is the other side of the star.

I am forever.

I merely forgot.

Well, I am loved. I am wealthy. I am healthy.

I am You, too.


If only I could say

What I’m really trying to say.

If only the words would speak more truly

I am not I

but to self-fulfill,

my Jupiter in Capricorn Tenth House

and may I be a positive example

eve through the gnashing of teeth

and misperception

may I be a beacon of hope and light

may I be what I think I am

a hopeful hero

working tirelessly

for true peace on earth

for permaculture to take pan-root

mycelium forests beneath the sands

tendrilous nervosa systems sharing light

at the Planck length to the Windfish Wake

What a strange world.

May we  all truly be kind

This is the only obligation: Compassion, Patience, and Empathy.

Calligraphy Christmas Cards

This 2016 has been a blessed year for me,

and I know 2017 is going to be even better.

I’ve met a lot of great new people this year,

and have maintained and built relationships

with those I have known from before.

You may know that I am deeply touched by this reality.

I am an artist.

I have heard the call.

Of that which reaches first madmen


the magus in us all

but only some become, dig?

a shout out to a few who didn’t appear here,

coz that’s how we do

VC and Jablan – I love you guys xoxoxo

Mitch Horowitz and Jeff Wolfe – I look forward to drinking and smoking and/or whatever with you both, together or in other set/settings – Jeff, how’s mescaline under a desert sky sound as we make a documentary? Thought so. Cool! (Mitch if that’s your bag… say what’s up!)

Nassim N Taleb I had you on my list and you are spiritually connected to the calling of your choice. So too with the Secret Fiction writer Uel Aramchek –> https://is.gd/povN45 .

well, that’s really all I can think of right now who didn’t make it,

but pester me if you may for I was negligent somehow.

Ok lovies.

Here goes.

My number lately has been 8, so here are 62 for you…

to Enjoy.

I love you all.

I love you all.

I love you all.

So how this goes is I’m going to post who the Calligraphy Christmas Card is inspired by and for, and why I like them/why I have made them something –

First, but not best. Ok, the numbers ‘do lie’ – just ignore the order!

Frater Xavier

A year ago I was a total plebe-profane or near that. Now I’m still not that high but his lessons are so valuable, I sync with him, I appreciate his non-polarity, and he is, to me, one of the premier humans of our time. I’ll say that about a few people on this list, but he is really someone to learn from, and I mean that from the lowest normy to the highest magus. Well, maybe not them, but, at least to mid-high. Anyways. I love his programs, I highly suggest you buy a few, especially the ‘Secrets of Wealth’ program.


Merry Christmas Frater Xavier! This is for you!


Next up is ‘The Great White’ – one Gordon de los White-Outs. He is SO COOL. And have you SEEN THOSE EYES? my gods. :whoo: Gordon is a ‘chaos magician’ and the proud ‘fauthor’ of Star.Ships, The Chaos Protocols, and Pieces of Eight, all released in 2016. If you’re not familiar with Rune Soup, yon blog de Gordo, make sure to get over there some Sunday and read ALL THE WHISKY RANTS and also his post on Uranus. Because that is delectable. The post, not… oi. Gordon also hosts TARL and it’s just what you need.

Gordon, ya didn’t answer my damn Necronomicon question, but I’ve been crazy, so I’ll try again sometime…. xoxo.

Here’s my favourite post of his – in fact, it’s the first I read – and of course I shared it with my Mom! Along with the music in the background, it was a moving moment and I’ll remember it always – thanks for being a part of that TGW –> http://runesoup.com/2015/12/much-have-i-travelld-in-the-realms-of-gold/

In the meantime, this is for the one and only blue-eyed handsome devil Gordon White.


Next we have ‘front-b’ no we won’t go there. That’s for the aforementioned goodely magician. Catherine Austin Fitts is frankly one of the most respectable women you will learn from. I cannot say enough positive things about this woman… She is a bastion of hope for humanity and I think that will suffice. May God protect her always.


Catherine, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is a small token of my love. Merry Christmas!


Dr. Joseph ‘The Death Star’ Farrell. This man is an Oxford educated scholar of all things religious, scientific, ammunition-based, and ‘high octane’. He’s so smart. A blast to listen to, with his leo aspects just like mine. Check out his Giza Death Star and find out more!

Dr F. I love you. If P.*. P.*. is my ‘spiritual father’, you are certainly my spiritual uncle. Or brother. Or close mentor I would fight for. This one’s for you. Also please donate to Joseph’s ‘Virtual Pipe Organ if you’re reading this in early 2017 or prior. xoxo

This is for Doc F but don’t think anything except that it’s also for all of my fellow Gizars. From GG to ‘The Paris Gun’ to KT and ILS and MY and GP and SGF and Kb and Je and M87 and a few others who I’m just running out of time to mention but I’m thinking of you, so, to all my fellow Gizars, this is for you just as much as Dr F.



P.*. P.*. ?? Who’d you think was next??? Peter Levenda is an author, Nazi-hunter, daredevil, tantric researcher, magus, and all-around bad-ass. I own all his books. Literally. Even SK Bain’s with his intro (I WANT The Stigma Order – so feel free to gift a copy to your dear dear Occult Fan here!) – I can’t say enough, he is a real man. All I can say is 93 93/93. We are BOTH Gregory Angell. Simon Says Necalligraphy!



Next is Freemason (Master Mason, not aware of any higher Scottish (entities!) or York (entities?) rite – so, Blue Point! A thorough researcher, a polite and intelligent and genteel man, he is interesting and lively, not enough good things can be said – Walter, Merry Christmas to you!



Your favourite congenial host and mine, a sweet and caring line of lion, one of my tribe, the one we love to nomen Gregglewood, the one and only Carlwood, the Bane of the Jesuits, Greg Carlwood. I think he does a show. You should smoke a lil’ smoke, drink a lil’ drink, and head over to the plus-side of the Higherside (Chats). You HAVE to try it. With six Gordon White interviews and two Christopher Loring Knowles and a handful of Dr F appearances (just wait…) you have ZERO excuses not to. Make sure to listen to the Sevan Bomar and Anthony Peake eps – two of his best.


Gregglewood. I look forward to massive bong rips and mushrooms and lots of fun times! Merry Christmas brother.


Fellow Bostonian (Cambridgian in his case) is Daniel ‘The Dark Journalist’ Liszt is another brother I will enjoy having some talks with – not sure if he drinks and smokes, but, I’m oddly persuasive with cool folks, but then, I just get the feeling he knows so much that I might be the one with my headlight eyes. But no one does more to try to bring the ‘never easy truth’ to you. And we love him for it.


Daniel – thank you. Great interviews. great attitude (nod nod nod) and just all-around so cool. You’re so cool. So cool. Merry Christmas brother.


Next up we have our first two-person ‘Twin Peeps’ CCC – made for ‘The Owlman’ Mike Clelland! I’ve read the largesse of Mike’s ‘The Messangers’ on owls and synchronicity. What a GRAND idea for a book. And it is a thoroughly entertaining and moving read. I left my copy in the car of another CCC receiver so, I’ll finish it in 2017 – had tons of Twin Peaks syncs with that book – and it was in March that I saw my first UFO, and I brought my copy of ‘Messengers’ to my first UFO meeting (prior to seeing my first one) and he’s been a part of my journey since.

As has the other fine gentleman for whom I’ve made this particular artifact, that is Christopher Loring Knowles. Any man with a middle name beginning with ‘L’ is a-ok by me, but that he’s from this neck of the woods is also pleasing. But enough about my little fascinations and more about why this man is amazin’! Well, if you read his blog(s) (don’t forget the Satellite!) but especially his main blog, http://secretsun.blogspot.com/ you’ll see what I mean. I’m ordering a copy of ‘Our Gods Wear Spandex’ this coming 2017. CLK and LMD (another CCC receiver) are officially on my must-read list. Ok, I’m floundering to commit to further compliments, please just read both of these guys. I have a high view of them as people, and they are both empathically rad. For you Mike and Chris!


NEXT UP! Uncle Birch! Also known as ‘FreakPhil’ his real name is – – – – you’ll have to find out! I’m a student of his, you may say he is my teacher. I’ve learned more witchy-woojy-widgy-wodgy stuff (STUFF) from UB that he is surely an indelible flavour in the gran vino that is my ultimate magic(k)al current. I love witchcraft because of him, and I had an opportunity to give Raven Grimassi a long-stemm’d rose while visiting him at the Robin’s Next (CCC!) because UB introduced me to his works. I enjoy Thornblooded Witch, but this is about Uncle Birch! You can sign up for his year-and-a-day WitchSkewl this time of year, so GET ON IT! http://thesacredgrovestore.com/

My favourite vid of his is the building up subliminal confidence, where he is out front of a store singing and doing the real thing. But I’m not linking that – you can search his channel and site – he makes a fantastic set of potions, all made in the proper planetary hour and he’s an anarchist witch who respects the planet. What’s that? Donate 93.93 next time? xoxo Could any be more dear to my heart? For you, Uncle Birch!


Well maybe not more, but just like all the above, the next is just as dear!

For Medicine Man Mike and Mama Melissa of New England Grass Root Institute. MMM+MMM have worked their whole lives towards bringing not only cannabis to legal status as so many of us have (oh that time I spoke in front of the state senate circa 2009 – ha! It’s legal now, so that was ‘worth it’) – not only that, but they have dedicated their lives to improving communities and to educating the public in New England (drive from Texas if ya wanna! or Hawaii… drive from there!) about everything from the legal to the health to the scientific to the cultivation aspects – there really isn’t any other such school in New England worth going to – stop on by if you’re in the area! For more info: http://grassroot420.com/

MMM and MMM I love you both! Merry Christmas!


Next up we have an olde private friend of mine, not a public figure, so I’ll simply refer to him as WW (or BW) – He and I met in the way strange people meet. Through a fetish website which I don’t use but to meet fellow stoners, but, well, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side… and he needed a shower, his was broken, and we hung out, he brought his Volcano (I should really make a CCC for Storz+Bickel) and we hung out with another private friend of mine, DMG, another CCC for him later) – anyways, WW said that there was a medical cannabis patient group and that I should check it out – that’s ANOTHER reason GrassRoots is great, they are patient focused more than any other I’ve seen – and so that’s the connexion ‘tween WW and I. Fet, showers, stoners, life. Very nice. I love you buddy. You have the Dark Side of the Moon poster hanging on your wall, and that makes you fucking epic. To me. But I’m ‘just a humble stoner’, to carry a quip. Or was that whip? Merry Christmas bruddah!


Second of three magic shoppes on my receivers of Calligraphy Christmas Cards this year is The Robin’s Nest! I found out about TRN via my ‘home’ magic shoppe, to come next, and through a series of unique events, have come to love this shoppe and the people there, not just the proprietresses, but the unique group of people who shop there and the festivals that seem to branch out from said community. I have learned to love Hekate even more, and Robbie (head and beak (?) of the Robin’s Nest!) was there to participate at what was a most-memorable Feast of Hekate! Hail Hekate and Love to Robbie and all at the Robin’s Nest! Feel free to sell some copies of The Chaos Protocols! xoxo


Por vu mi Witchy Famiglia, and Happy Yule!


Next up is the Enchanted Fox! THIS. THIS. THIS is my Home Magickal Shoppe. I am the ‘third libra’ to my dear dear dear friends Rose and Paul. I love you so much both. My head is getting light and my eyes are begun to – it must be misty in here … I love you. I haven’t much to say except that you really must pay at least one visit to The Fox in your lifetime. Oh, how much I love them and that shoppe. I may not work there, or maybe one day I’ll save the shoppe and turn it in to a Historical Landmark to be preserved for all time (*) but that’s what makes it special to me – it’s my safe haven. Any work I’ve done around there was always a labour of love. We all know the hot water boiler exploding story, but let’s hear it again, just until next time… xoxo


For everyone at the Fox (R+D et al!) but ESPECIALLY my other two libras, Rose and Paul. Eternal love. Eternal love. Eternal love.


Now we shift to an opposite end of my appreciation spectrum, for a few years I was a member of TragedyandHope, I’ve moved on for now for other foci, however, Richard Andrew Grove and wife Lisa Arbecheski along with Kevin Cole and other not-so-public figures who are members of the site I am appreciative to. You were there when I found out how the ‘world works’ – even the stuff Chomsky won’t touch, you went there and were there to help me get my feet a bit, at least far more than any other site out there at the time concerning those issues at hand. Thank you for your Respectfulness, Resourcefulness, and Realness. In a world where ‘good men are hard to find’, you need go no further than one Richard Andrew Grove.


For you and all the main-stays at T&H! Merry Christmas!


In-tandem we now have another great figure in modern America – John Taylor Gatto! John’s work as a public school teacher and his subsequent books detailing it have struck to the heart of what many perceive to be a ‘matrix of control and squandering of mass-opportunity’ via the Nazi-like ‘skulling’ ‘school’ system complete with Pavlov’s bells – well hell, we don’t need that education! What we need is real experience and free lives where our children are thriving and learning in the natural way – no better a proponent of this truth than John Taylor Gatto. He is soon releasing yet another book (the steed! what a steed!) titled ‘Snider The CIA Spider’ – I have two copies on the way my self – why don’t you go check it out when it comes out, ok?! In the meanwhile, head on over to

https://www.johntaylorgatto.com/johns-bio/ and learn some more!

John, we might never meet, but know that I love you and am deeply appreciative of your soul’s work. God bless you Sir, God bless you. Merry Christmas.


Mark Passio is my next Calligraphy Christmas Card recipient. He is another example of a real man. I have unlimited respect for Mark. It was an initiation in-itself to help him carry his wares and projectors unbidden (but welcomed!) after his huge FYM3 talk. That’s when he shook my hand, and I felt that I had done something right and real in eternity. He’s a good man. You will do well do absorb some of his values. Mark (and Barb!) Merry Christmas to you!


Next up is another man of infinite respect value. James ‘Sevan’ Bomar is a mentor to me. He might be the most-aware of my teachers as to what is happening – his most recent ‘The Peak’ was a smash hit, and he’s really ‘on point’ – we push these envelopes, drawing outside the line – so the lyrics go – and James/Sevan – I Will See You Forever.

For the author of ‘The Code to the Matrix’ and founder and proprieter of my favorutie online energy shoppe – and metaphysical school all-in-one – word to my fellow SEers and what up to Pho and all the Spiriteks! Make sure to check out http://secretenergy.com/ and learn ya self some liberation and get ya currency flowing strong now! We Do It!

Merry Christmas James (yea, I know, I know, but, Merry Christmas) xoxo


The next CCC I’ve made for a close friend of mine – once she gets her website/patreon up I’ll add that to here and make her name more famey, but for now, my JG, she is an artist in TX (Taxes? Texas) and she makes the most incredible mosaics and masks and maybelikely other m-art. Mart? Ha ArtMart. Pay me if you use that. J this is for you. I might include your candleholder (not what it sounds like) as well to show the people (as one host doth say) how cool you really are – let’s get some current flowing your well-deserved way, my sister). For JG. with love. xoxo. (and a dose of lust thrown in, who the hell denies it)

Merry Christmas to you! and Happy Festival of Lights, too!


This next one is for ‘The Irish Might’, Michael Tsarion. A fellow brother in the art, I hold a true affection for this man. His work is deeply fascinating, and throughout it runs a thread of truth, which can be said for all on this list of CCC’ers. He not only is well-learned and shines light on several mysteries (even if you don’t follow all of them!) – he ALSO along with a partner (name to be included, for this card is for HIM TOO) created an INCREDIBLE time keeping system for your mystical needs – so check both Michael’s homesite at http://www.michaeltsarion.com/ and their timekeeping site at http://www.timegnosis.com/index1.php – I solemnly testify that it -actually works-. My brother’s wedding on the Blue Moon 2015 is proof of this, so be it, so it be!

Michael and partner – this is for you! Merry Christmas!


Ok I’m going to need to fix that one – my scanner just wouldn’t cut it

Next up is a dear and purraciously alluring friend of mine, from the days of T&H to Freeman to SE, we’ve found the gentle spirits keeping one another in our sphere’s and orbits, and she is quite the female form or force, rather – the form – well, I digress… still holding that whip, am I? but the force… she is … so real. M/Shima, what can I say? Besides ‘close beneath the sun above/a mortal coil of ivory doves’…

This one’s for you. Merry Christmas!


My University years saw me go from 2003 Fall to Spring 2005 at UMass Dartmouth (now notorious for being the school of the patsy Boston Bomber (how crafty of them)) but it’s even MORE famous for having the Elite Musician/Artist/Poet/Shaman Nathan Lee Miller Foster having attended for a mere two years – same for FSC, not notworthy sans Summer 05 to Spring 2007; I took time off from Uni and then from Fall 2009 to Spring 2012 I earned my degree in what became effectively a double major with English and Philosophy (concentration in Law) with a minor in psychology with a smattering of neuroscience (I got to hold a brain, then realized my brain was holding me)… uh so where am I going with this, huh Occult Fan? well. It was at UMass Boston where I earned my degree that I met my Sister Yuna. No last names, but that’s basically a bit of my story condensed as to how I came to meet Sisterbear. That’s really what we call each other. I’m Brotherbear. Sis got a copy of Peter Levenda (P.*. P.*. Bear!)’s ‘The Lovecraft Code’ (not the Levenda Code, as it is way too easy to slip in to calling it) (p.309) (93 93/93) – and The Bluebird Lenormand for Christmas this year… so without much to say besides I genuinely love her and may all the blessings and fortune in the world be upon her and her family forevermore, that this is the other thing I have for you, Sis, this year.

Merry Christmas! (you’ll find it this year!)


This one is for my Dad, his wife Sue, and her son James (and for Heidi and Tammi as well, and that goes for everyone in their nuclear orbit!) so really, this is for my Father’s side of the family, if we may. I am looking forward to new experiences and friendships and lasting compassionate brotherhood and familiyhood throughout this line going forward. It is my will.

This is for you all! I love you, and Merry Christmas!


And the same now, for my Mom for her Brothers and Sister, and their relations and nuclear families as well! May we too move forward in light and love and laughter together. It is my will. (Even in a post-Necronomicon/post-Crowley world, it is still most relevant).

Merry Christmas Mommle, Uncle Mike, Uncle Mark, Uncle Matt (RIP). With love eternal:


This is for my younger/taller brother Geoffrey Niles [Miller] Foster and his lovely and caring wife Sarah. You are both great people with a great future. It is true. Positively spiral up and out now! Wishing you a Merry Christmas, and hoping you enjoy The Lovecraft Code as well… this is for you!


I’m astounded that any of you are actually reading through my little corner of the universe but thank you all the same for your light and your rays, I love you. I do. Just, I’m not like the others. But I am one of the ‘found others’. Hm. Para-para-paradoxicalisticalisms.

This one is simply to espouse self-love. SO, this one, Nathan Lee, is for me. I love me.

Merry Christmas Me!


This next CCC is for a friend of mine and his family. J, K, W. They have a magnificent house near the sea, and their parties are fabulous. I love this guy and his family, his beautiful and talented wife makes exquisite soaps (with permission I will share a link here) and their handsome bright boy is growing faster each day, and is a sheer joy, such a happy soul.

He also knows some really interesting people. A handshake away from another CCC receiver here, though I know them not directly, I speak of one A and A Grey. Just an interesting tidbit – aw this makes me realize I also forgot Jon Rappoport. I’ll make up for it. All of these people are great, from Jon to Alex to J**.

Merry Christmas to you and your family J! We climbed the Quincyhorn when that massive blizzard had ended – a feat no other souls had or ever will have accomplished! Cheers my brother and fellow NEGRI student!


Next is a simple thank you and Respect! to both the people at Integr8 and InGoodHealth. The former is a clinic where one may obtain their medical license, the latter is a dispensary. As Cannabis is as part of Occult Fan as Occult Fan is part of eternity, (???), it is only vinculic to address them here with my proper gratitude and thanks.

To all of you at both these fine establishments (and the girl who works the desk who knows about the BearSkunk) to you I wish a sincere and light-felt Merry Christmas!


This next one is for my friend with whom I roadtripp’d up to MMM+MMM back in August. It taught me a valuable lesson about Geminis. And altered states. And bringing my own vehicle and not being dependent on a Gemini to stick to their plan. It’s just how they are, it seems. I mean, purely sun alone – augmenting with moons and mercury and the whole nine – well, she’s a-ok by me, and she is a real cool chick. And I swear she’s in her 30’s coz RAWRRRRRRR. I’m just sayin’. :whistles:

Well, Ms P**** this is for you and yours. Merry Christmas, you Vivacious Vixen, you Gregarious Gemini!!


This next one is for a new friend I’ve recently met. She’s super in to the Dead, The Grateful Dead that is, and she has a real earthy deep grounded attitude that I appreciate muchly. A very relaxed and fun person to be around, B*** Merry Christmas ;3


This next one goes out to an olde friend I met when I was working at Best Buy in 2005 Autumn. He is an Aquarius and damn if he doesn’t act it to a ‘T’. I forced upon him Radiohead’s ‘Airbag Ep’ and a Pixies album, likely Surfer Rosa or Doolittle (but don’t forget that we all Trompe le Monde) and he in turn recommended a life-changing musical artist who – I forgot to thank here so I add Porcupine Tree (including their touring guitarist John Wesley! – a very nice guy) – well who changed my life. I listened to Radioactive Toy (OTSOL Version) for six hours straight. The next summer on June Sixth Occult Fan would be born, and Porcupine Tree’s influence is palpable.

Besides that, he’s a member of my tribe, he’s a hiking buddy, he’s a stoner buddy, he’s a good guy, and has a bright mind, and if he applies himself (heh) he will make great films.

Chris NP, I’m grateful for it all. Bless you and your family, and Merry Christmas!


My next friend is on ice right now, and that largely came from a drunken sword on indolence and that’s just to get it right out in to the clear. If you’re fast-friends with someone who is sensitive and you attack their ego and recant not, shit can escalate and then it’s bad for everyone. I could tell you all of the great times we’ve had, dicks we’ve drawn (ok that was me) in the sand drinking Headless type biers and the moff and the beefy and all the rest, so to say, I look forward to healing a rift, that we both caused, and it will take both of us to heal it. How odd your are, Occult Fan, to be so blunt. I value honesty, honestly, and that more-so, I value friendship and kindness. To healing, to growing, and to becoming, simply put, better men. Together or apart in the future, this is for a dear, dear friend, and owner of the one and only Graduatiobong, he’s talented and intelligent, insightful and kind, just don’t hit him with a sword when you’re drunk and crazy (what was nice was he and I were able to meet halfway on this both admitting our respective parts) – even if we never meet again! Merry Christmas to a genuinely valuable man, DMG.

This one’s for you. Have more confidence. You are so fucking cool. Merry Christmas to your family and you. May all be clear in 2017 – from the bottom underground, to the heights of the roof of stars above – may all luck and fortune and blessings be upon you now and always.

Miffy… Moff… Higgidy Bop…



Alright! A*** and A**, Merry Christmas to you both. This is for you. A*** we met at FYM3 and we became fast friends. He’s a great guy, very talented and sweet, and you know he’s the kind who will be loyal to the last. A** and I drove down to PA, I know A** from NEGRI, and she herself is a very talented (track six Head Carrier style) individual. I am grateful to know them both… Let’s take some more mushrooms and watch crazy conspiracy conferences and listen to The Holy Gift at midnight again!

This is for you. Merry Christmas!


My next Calligraphy Christmas Card is for Sherwood Kent “I’m not actually Peter Levenda” Bain. Author of ‘The Most Dangerous Book in the World’ (you have to say it like Arnie from Pete & Pete), I have enjoyed our twitter exchanges and the amount of intense imaginative-without-necessarilty-being-imagined ingenuity in fabricating a plot so dastardly that one really must get their hands on this oh-so-dangerous tome to find out in detail for their own selves just what is up with the ritual table of buildings the WTC represent. Like a saner ‘Illuminati Matrix’, w/ forward by Norman Mailer, I mean Peter Levenda, check out https://www.amazon.com/Most-Dangerous-Book-World-Ritual/dp/1937584178

and A Merry Merry Christmas to you, SKBain!


Next is a dear influence unto me – in fact, my life is Permeated by his Dreams … one David Lynch – I will expound at a later date, but this CCC is created for Mark Frost, and all the Twin Peaks fans (that was a blast #savetwinpeaks) – and again to my favourite director – David Lynch. (David. Who should totally direct the film version of The Lovecraft Code – so mote it be)… I love you all. Truly I do. Here’s to that mug gum and 25 years later – I am the man from another place. And from across the veil I say unto thee all now Twin Peaks fans, Twin Peaks actors and actresses (hiya Miss Fenn!, Kyle!)… to Mark Frost (MF! like me!) and to the dreamy David Lynch… Merry Christmas with love and cherry pie and damn fine coffee…


My other huge influence via TV (if we don’t count all the great other shows like Happy Town, The Event, FlashForward, Clone High [more on animated shows soon] or even The Worriker Trilogy or Fringe) we know the best show (I’ll even say I now really enjoy the reboot – ok – ahhhhhhhghghghghhghg- there – I SAID IT) … OF course we are talking about


The X-Files. Here’s to fellow Libra Chris Carter, and to David and Gillian, and to TL and all the others who have worked on the show over the years as writers, actors, and of course to all the fans who love this show just as much as I do. I have fond memories of making some time in the very center of UMass Boston’s campus center under blankets and chairs where we then watched some X-Files to drift off – but of course way back when I was a teen my Dad had all the tapes and I would spend summer days like a fat white kid should: Watching the geek eat the fish and that there fiji mermaid – a host of great seasons with some slaggy in betweens – overall a cultural artifact of excellence as we all know – Chris Carter make sure you reach out to Christopher Loring Knowles to collab (I’ll be happy to join of course)… without further ado:

Merry Christmas to all those who have worked on and/or loved The X-Files! This is for you:


This one is for a private friend and someone who is always around to help when I need it – not too much needs to be said here – thank you L*****, I’m proud to be your friend and ally. Merry Christmas to you and your family! Por vu:


This next one is for my dentist, Dr **** – for privacy’s sake that’s all that needs to be said. I think he used to be in Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, but I might be goofy from the anastetic that I found under the sink. Doop-de-doo! Thanks Dr. ****, you’re more than a dentist – you’re my friend. Merry Christmas and Happy Festival of Lights to you and your family!


My neightbor next door has always been amicable and helpful and allows us to use his laundry so, I have to say a simple ‘thank you’ and a very BIG MERRY CHRISTMAS to my neighbors ***** and his family and the family next to them – he grows food and is always kind to share his tomatoes and spicy jalapenos… to these men and their families I dedicate this CCC and wish them collectively a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!


Triforces started making their way in to my work in this rite and nowhere is that more prevalently obvious than in my next Calligraphy Christmas Card which is simply for my neighbor *******. I’ve known her for 8 years plus now and I care for her deeply. Merry Christmas to you and your family *******!!


Ooh only 22 left!

I just called my next CCC receiver on the phone and had a lovely chat… This next one is for a friend of my family and his family – a really good down-to-earth, helpful, upbeat, friend-of-the-people, champion-for-the-little-guy, tireless energetic worker ***** and his family.

Merry Christmas sir! Merry Christmas!


This next one is for my employer of the past few years and to his family. Suffice to say there’s not much to say except I am grateful to work where I do, I enjoy my co-workers, and indeed OF blessing this is for my employer and his family, and to my co-workers and their families as well – and you better know I have this dedicated to all the family’s of my clients and their special little people as well… This is for you! Merry Christmas all!


I’ve recently begun jiu-jitsu and am just about to earn my yellow belt (then orange, and so on) and I’ve created this in honor of my senseis and the other students in my class.

Senseis, fellow students: Merry Christmas!


I have been friends with my mail carrier for almost just as long as I’ve lived here – she’s super great, has a birthday near mine by ten days, and is just the sweetest and brightest and kindest people I know. M** Merry Christmas! I’m super glad you like your Calligraphy Christmas Card!


Ok I’ve just thrown on the new Nine Inch Nails ‘Deviations I’ from The Fragile. It feels like a perfect song (I should be listening to Christmas Carols, and will switch to The Nutcracker and Sexy Christmas Jazz by the Fireplace soon) but for the next magus/author I have made a card for in-tandem inspired by and dedicated to a now-past occultist and writer, this is for two who share a place on my 2017 reading list, and with thanks to both of them for what I have learned so far – this is for Colin Wilson and Lon Milo DuQuette.

Merry Christmas sirs, back and forth in time.


Now for a man times two who are on my reading list this coming twenty-tzaddi – the judgement of the stars – I am a star – (see above) I’m not a porn star – I’m a black star – if Peter Levenda is my spiritual father, Bowie is my spiritual father as well, one for writing, one for music – both for magic(k). But what of other influences? And men who are elders to me by around 20 to 30 years who I can respect and learn from (like Lon Milo)? Well, I feel the Gods are leading me straight in to the good graces of two of the finest men I have found this past recent part of my life – Anthony Peake, and Miguel Connor.

I’m fond of both, have sync’d with both, and am quite sure I would enjoy a week’s long getaway just hanging out and being guys and doing magic and consciousness stuff with – Peake and Connor are two people I consider Genuinely Cool Dudes. GCDs, for short. I’m a ‘big fan’ you can say. No detail is needed – simply to say I feel gratitude and warmth and dare I say light love towards these two fine gents.

Miguel. Anthony. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Love and light in 2017!


This next one goes out to The Grey Family, as mentioned above, that’s Alex and Allyson. Not only to them is it dedicated but also to the five members (past and present) of Tool as well, including d’Amour as well as Chancellor and by extension also Peach – this is a three-way – but I could not neglect to add Peach to this as I have the fondest memories of blissing out to Dougal and Signposts in the Sea on my front steps in highschool high on dextromethorphan, so was made for them as well as to Adam Jones, Danny Carey, and that other guy. What’s his name. You know. With the James Kennan field in Maynard, MA. Yeah, Maynard James Keenan. I gave him an Occult Fan demo once. He gave me a free ride on a gigantic meat refrigerator. Gotta watch out for those Fans. They’re fanatics. I gave the bottle of wine from CC to my gf at the time. Something Fanatics do. ;3 So much do I love the work of Alex and Peach and Tool, this card is for them in toto.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you, and your family’s, as well too. xoxo


This next one is for the only man to have an ego as big as mine and deserve it – Salvador Dali. Also my ego wants you to know it is merely an Eidolon and demands my Daemon crucify it. So, it will be on a Dalian cross. Dali is a town in Final Fantasy IX. More on that later – this is simply an homage not even in similar style but just as one love to another love -to a man who impacted me very deeply from my youth – this could be Jim Woodring, or M.C. Escher, but this is Salvador Dali! Merry Christmas Sal.


Another artist who I feel the connections to is the one I sleep next to and have the work of in every room. Nearly Klimt, nearly Monet, it isn’t even Salvador Dali… not Mary Cassat nor George Braques… not Picasso, and not Renoit nor Degas nor Waterhouse…. nay.

There is only one artist for me where this light goes, and it is one we all love and know – Doctor Who and the sunflowers too – his fame it steadily grows – I’m talking about my dear sweet Vincent Van Gogh.

Merry Christmas Vincent!


you can probably tell the one above got cut off – and a director’s note in general here – these are nowhere – no where – as nice as the actual copies, where the ink and light and love mixes and spreads and radiates. Obviously.

This next one is for a musician I have grown very fond of in the past year (so recent this is!) and in fact I listened to his 1974 masterwork ‘Utopia’ for six months in a row each day. It was my morning session writing soundtrack. I love this album still. We’re all freedom fighters, and don’t you forget it! Todd Rundgren/TR-i… this is for you! Merry Christmas to you and yours!


Kate Bush is what my Ænima sounds like. She moves me in ways that I cannot fathom. I love her music, I love her as an artist, and I love her just as Her. Nothing more to say for now, perhaps but to say Thank you for making my Decembers magic again.

Merry Christmas Kate Bush to you and your family!


This next one is to a collective of people much like Twin Peaks and The X-Files above, but in this case it is dedicated/inspired by the folks who made Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, and the same to those who made Doctor Who. Quite a tall order to spread that love, but thankfully the subconscious is far more amazing (LMDQ style) than I can fathom. I just love these shows and I think the collective talent (from the book the first show is based on to the fantastic symbolic representations the other shows uses (Manchester By The Sea gives DW a run for their T.A.R.D.I.S. of course in this department) so to keep it simple and to finish this off sooner than later – thank you and Merry Christmas to all involved in these projects and to your respective families as well! Merry Christmas to you and all the Whovians and Strangians out there as well! Merry Christmas!!!


I mentioned animated shows above, and I have an even-more far-reaching set of thanks to send and appreciation to spread, but thankfully Adult Swim has a few key shows I can shout out to, along with the other target of my merriment – the makers of Futurama! So to the original golden four – Sealab, HBAaL, ATHF, Brak Show – and precursor Space Ghost – and of course to Rick and Morty creators, and anyone else I might be neglecting that I truly feel thanks and positivity towards – especially George ‘Captain Beefy’ Lowe. He’s fairly amazing. And totes folk art.Thank you to the creators of these shows and their rabid fans…

Merry Christmas!


Now we live in the age of the internets, and tv isn’t the only medium to ‘raise a star in’ – and in this vein of thinking we have to say a huge thank you to someone I love dearly as a spectator but I get the notion he is a genuinely cool guy to boot, not to mention Malcolm and Tamara and whoever what’s his name is that plays Zack Snyder (that’s two ‘SniderSnyder mentions in one Christmas Calligraphy Card post – what gives?!) and the AVGN and the cheat code guy and literally everyone at Channel Awesome. You’re all fantastic. Cheers to the fans of Channel Awesome and their fine masterminds, ESPECIALLY Nostalgia Critic, I must say… Merry Christmas to you all!


Now a few more for the Creators and the Fans – next up but seriously deeply important to me is The Legend of Zelda series and the Final Fantasy series. I have too much love for these collectively than to start parsing the bulging gorge glut of meaning these two series hold for me. I love you all who have worked on these series over the years, and to the fans – we are so cool for liking the top of the top, so I say – and so it IS. Thank you and Merry Christmas to you all!


Another two games that are near and dear to me are both Cave Story, and specifically Rune Factory: Frontier. I will use the latter game as a model for this ‘meat world’ as it is. It will be that way. It ‘already is’. So thank you to the creators and teams who worked on these games and as is my wont and design, my inspired desire – to the fans as well – Merry Christmas to you all!


Now I am what modern parlance terms ‘a creative’ – what I really am is far more than that but suffice to say you’re drinking it all in now baby, so dig my goldentone and love that you are loved for without my being able to structure my time apropos in toto no thing would happen otterwoise. So I give a shout out and a big thanks to writer James Altucher and to the entire creative team connected to 99u. Both of you have touched me and moulded me and continue to do so. That’s really cool of you. So thank you, all. Merry Christmas to you and your families, all!


Martin Armstrong of Armstrong Economics is my next receiver of these lofty CCC’s. He is amazing. I saw The Forecaster when it was released vis a vis T&H above, and since then I’ve been paying attention to see how his posts reflect the actual happenings of this world. A lot of it, the largesse at this stage, is over my head. But there are three things I want to learn to do proficiently. Invest. Fix my car my self. Heal the majority of wounds. Those three things. Permaculture goes without saying. As it stands – a big thank you and God bless you and Merry Christmas to Marty Armstrong and his family.


This next one is for my friend who had made plans to stop by, but in TYPICAL fashion flaked. He’s an Aquarius. I’m not that fond of air signs that aren’t Libra, if you haven’t noticed. But I am. I love my friends, even IF they’re airheads. Paul is just awesome. He’s super cool. We have been to the coolest cultural events, The Monty Python World Synchronized singing of ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ is one of those moments that was just so ‘ornamentally organized’ and ‘surreally satisfying’ – what can I say? Even if he’ an idiot sometimes, he’s also wicked smaht, smahter than most people I know – guess that MIT edgykayshun was spent on a decent animal! Paul. I love you. And apparently I’m not censoring your name. Maybe I’ve just been doing this for hours now. Well in any case, we’ll see each other tomorrow, I’ll give you the ACTUAL copy of this Calligraphy Christmas Card, and if you fine folks of fettle haven’t been keeping score, he will be getting a copy of The Lovecraft Code as well.

Merry Christmas Paul!



This next one is for my fellow Syncbook members/creators. I’m a creator in a few of those ‘member ones’, but I see my role beginning to expand. They’re got some great material to lose yourself in over there – and each and every one of them is well-read, mystical, interesting, and at their core, very sweet people. Any SB people reading this – use the riding the beast gematria calculator to Gematrify my name – don’t reduce – use the english and see what number you get – this rift is healed come soon – and that’s Nathan Lee to get it right – remember my first member chat at number 12 where I am introduced and ‘headlined’ – I mention my number is 8 so quite often… even in the Marty Leeds gematria… Pentamental is a personal fave, and there’s this fantastically sparkelly dancing girl that will rock your horizons until the stars shake from the skies themselves – she’s a pure female force as M** mentioned above – so anyways my dears- that’s an ‘easter egg’… in general I simply say I love you each and all, and to you and your families each… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!


This second to last one is dedicated to two living legends and one dearly departed – these three men are perhaps key to why I am even positively spreading this love and thanks and merriment out to so many of these fine people – and as you shall see, to you and yours as well, but before I jump the sharkgun, let me say this is a Merry Christmas to Napoleon Hill, to Bob Proctor, and to Tony Robbins – you’re amazing men. And you are making me in to an amazing man. Thank you all. Thank you, and Merry Christmas to you and your families alike!


Well, here we are. I couldn’t even imagine that this time would come, but, I guess I must say that I have. Somehow. This future is upon us.

I will make this one simple short and sweet.

This final Calligraphy Christmas Card is listed on my longggggg list to keep track of for whom the penman rolls and to make sure this all went off in the right order and all that jimmy jams. Here is who my final CCC of 2016 is dedicated to (remember what I just SAID?)

Everyone Coherently BEC’d (The Holy Gift) – David Bowie, Mogwai, Pixies, Radiohead


do you get it? well, in fashion of the Universe tarot card, and with my core being ‘The Holy Gift’ – it is to all of us. We are all one consciousness, and I just want to say to you all, in my tradition, I celebrate Christmas, and you can just see it as it is, pagan, light returning, and you can replace any holiday fitting to this feeling you need – I am you, You are me. And I love you all. May blessing and fortune be upon you always, and courage as well as compassion.

Merry Christmas to you all!


With love and light

Merry Christmas to all

and to all a great night

your dear friend forever

xo Ψ ox

Occult Fan

Nathan Lee Miller Foster

Why I Like Christmas

For the memories

for the times I just played True Crime on gamecube all day

for the bottle of gin I nursed when I was 19 on the couch in my old growing up home

for the times that santa came

when dad was still around

for the way that

it’s socially acceptable to be nice to people

and they don’t act weird, but receptive to happiness

I just want that to be all day every day

I just want to feel like it’s Christmas in my heart

all the time of year

when I haven’t been broken or abused or hurt

just still innocent and alive and young

and I love Christmas

coz like a hit of dope

for a minute

it gives me

The Illusion

so my years go on

and the years go by

and my eyes are wet now

but I swear I’m not crying

it’s just that I feel

something more than I can

and it’s just Christmas eve

and it’s just Christmas eve

And everything

is happening

as it should

all is so perfect

and I love Christmas

because even though it has a history of being founded on bloodshed

even after the Christians were in th’ catacombs and Rome made them the official mind control for the state

I still love THIS TIME OF YEAR


the three days of dead light

with the risen from the malkuthean cross on the third

one two three

one two three

one two three

for people who like threes threes threes

I wonder if this is why



Because it’s Christmas Eve

and this is the last one that I am going to spend alone.

So Mote It Be.

Jade Helm Is Pizza Gate

While y’all are busy giving your power away


This is just a dream

If you want to be King, Be King.

Let’s See How They Handle This One Now

I was in the backseat of some other stoners, the boyfriend in the front, girlfriend passenger side (male on left brain, female on right)…

So that one time the girl started say ‘cucky cucky’ to her boyfriend in the front seat. I knew she was trying to get me to fuck her in front of him. That was really fucking stupid of her.

She should have gotten in the back seat first and started by kissing my neck. Then she would have had me. But it was actually just creepy and distasteful.

This is the kinda pathological shit that bubbles to the top of my skull-fulcrum at this time of year.

Purging. Feels good.

As it is, what a strange meme that has risen to the top of our public consciousness. I’m a bisexualish male, personally, and I still maintain some traditional values, because, boundaries can exist for a reason.

But this whole mutilation affect – girls are both taught to feel inferior and then taught to be sluts to overcome it. Tell me I’m wrong. And men these days, especially what was known as the white male are being driven in to a realm insane.

Who cares. If someone calls someone else a cuck, they’re probably a cuck, that old maxim of projection – but – further-  who cares? Orgies are nice. And we should learn to love one another.

That said, who gives a cuck? I mean fuck? We’re aware the reverse, where a woman uses a man in front of his wife, as if to make the female double worthless. You see?

The whole thread is about dragging down the human spirit.

Instead of shame, and being abusive,

which, to me, I would easily bleed a fucker dry and smile wryly, but, that’s my pathos…  [we’re talking sex and death here]

it’s like she asks me ‘wanna have a threesome’ and in one hand if she suggests a girl I have a whip and in the other hand if she suggests a male I have a hammer. Guess what use that for? Yes. Crushing his skull. You’re a quick study in the Pathos of this Madman.

However, I don’t mean to besmirch actual lovers of this practice. These men, and women who enjoy feeling abuse do exist, obviously it’s all part of the Venus… Qlipphotic.

So like what am I saying? If you want to be dragged down by the undertow, that’s your prerogative. I’m a bigger fan of participation and of being happy in sex.

In fact, I am fairly aggressive. And blood is sexy. Imagine a man trying to even suggest to me something I didn’t like – sex and death (see my birth chart) are special powers of mine in this life.

I say this without ego.

So, do what you’re gonna do. If you’re feeling weird about liking certain things, remember, it’s all just a state of mind, and you are always in control of making your own choices. If you are weird to yourself, you’re going to get weird things. If you are strong in yourself, you can do any damn sexual thing (that is safe, sane, and consensual) and carry on experiencing the gamut of experiences!

Have gay sex! It’s just a pole in a hole. Have lesbian sex! It’s just a lovely licking time.

Have group sex! As long as everyone is std-free and on birth control!

Seriously. It doesn’t matter- but always respect yourself ULTIMATELY. Even if you go to the depths of relational-subterfuge- in the end – the balance is yours to divine.

I think the more we humans ‘Keep Talking’ (so a silence isn’t surrounding us) is obviously going to carry on moving forward. I have said nothing controversial here tonight. Only my ping to the meme which has obviously been perpetuated. I mean cuck and fuck and buck. Look at that huh. Who cares?



You owe me money

and I’ve come to collect

you can pay with my your wallet

or you will pay me with your flesh