by Occult Fan
Let’s see if this will work.
Since it is my mind
and my life
and my reality therefore my responsibility, as Frater Xavier says
I am wealthy.
I am healthy.
I am respected by respectable men and women.
I am a healer.
I feel whole inside and out.
I perpetually work towards healing this realm, as I learn its lessons and pass onwards.
I am not a human being, but a collection of forces.
That last one isn’t so much a prophecy as a truth.
I am doing better and better, trying my best one might say – but none of you are my parents (except my parents, and I’m almost the age Christ was crucified) so what I’m saying is that this lifelong thus far tendency (no doubt caused my my Moon in Leo and being born during a waning gibbous on the cusp of mutable earth/cardinal aire – or whatever)… tendency to seek approval – I keep forgetting that everyone else is going about, well, the largesse of humes, are going about doing the same fucking thing.
One more cage to break.
I begin to fast and cleanse soon.
I have tried to do something nice with my CCC here, and no matter how it goes, I am proud that I put so much work and effort and good intentions in to this. I hope that those who enjoy what this is or appreciate my sentiment can be inspired and made just a little more whole knowing this is how some of us, even if we are maniacal from time to time, haunted by whatever I allow to feast fang first in to my frame… or force… or form… that this really is about healing and having fun but it’s even more mysterious than that – it’s about becoming nothing – it’s about becoming small.
My greatest challenges are the ones which lie within, not this nebulous intention setting ritual. Yet I FEEL wealthy. I FEEL healthy. I FEEL loved.
And I hope you do too.
Merry Christmas, to all who are as intense as my electricflame and to all who are not – and on and on and on – I love you all.
Now I’m going to have some wine and cry a while.
I’ve been having this strange sadness swirl in my – I began to sob reading an olde children’s book aloud. Lachrymology it is called. I needn’t be defensive, rather, do whatever it is that you need to do – but the mystery is to become what we already were. The paradox is you have to do it in a public way. You know you are no monster… you are a master. Fear not the demons, for they are at your beck and whim – now Master Miller Foster –
Control thyself that you may master thyself.
You are not the reactions of other human beings.
You are a core dynamo effervescent and effulgent forever grande.
like spring flowers in the winterfrost
We all will
Heaven is the other side of the star.
I am forever.
I merely forgot.
Well, I am loved. I am wealthy. I am healthy.
I am You, too.
If only I could say
What I’m really trying to say.
If only the words would speak more truly
I am not I
but to self-fulfill,
my Jupiter in Capricorn Tenth House
and may I be a positive example
eve through the gnashing of teeth
may I be a beacon of hope and light
may I be what I think I am
a hopeful hero
for true peace on earth
for permaculture to take pan-root
mycelium forests beneath the sands
tendrilous nervosa systems sharing light
at the Planck length to the Windfish Wake
What a strange world.
May we all truly be kind
This is the only obligation: Compassion, Patience, and Empathy.